After awhile you learn the subtle difference
between holding a hand and chaining a soul.
And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning
and company doesn't mean security.
(kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't promises)
And you begin to accept your defeats
with your head held high and your eyes wide open,
with the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child.
You learn to build your roads on today
because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain
and the inevitable has a way of crumbling in mid-flight.
After awhile you learn that even sunshine burns
if you stand too long in one place.
So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn you really can endure,
And you really do have worth.
You learn that
with every good-bye comes the dawn.
Friday, 30 November 2007
so its almost 3am on the 30th of november. and im staring at the two convos on my screen and im tearing already. this is why you shld employ TP's designers. tell them brief 'storyline' and they tell you deadline can be met. omg, i dont even know them. and they keep telling kim and i not to worry. practically what i was doing the past two days. thankyew ronron, luffy and yijie!!by the way,deadline is 30th november (:
2:49 am
Tuesday, 27 November 2007
-shrieks- i spoiled my free-hand drawing!! after re-doing like twice. that's re-re-doing!! ): so im beginning to like waking up early just so my dad can fetch me to school. and i dont have to squeeze on the bus with stupid old chee-ko-peks any more. and i can arrive early to quietly have breakfast by meself. hmmm.. the life.. for two blissful days, had daniel's iPod all to myself. haha. he left it in church and i was nice enough to pick it up for him. omg! he had like all the songs from BOYS LIKE GIRLS!! ahhhhhhh!! i love!! anyways, he came to pick it up today before he went off to chalet or smtg. with his other side of his lip pierced -.- was on my way to lounge when i met SU pple gg to sakae. den lynette dragged me along, so next thing i knew there were 5 pple at the backseat of glenn's car. [haha. i typed backside before i editted it to backseat. lol.] it was glenn, benchow, caleb, john, adrian, tomu, lynette and me in sitting order. they were damn crappy btw. yay mochi! ((:hello shortie.
11:56 pm
Saturday, 24 November 2007
this post is dedicated to my bestie's mom who has just passed awayfor all the times adel and i pon school and she let us stay at her hsefor all the times she wrote my 'parents letter' when i didnt turn up for schoolfor all the times she cooked for me, i could stay at adel's hse the whole dayfor all the times she was so motherly, not only to her children but also her niecerest in peace.
10:38 pm
Thursday, 22 November 2007
omgdnssss!! make a wish is finally over!! turnout was pretty good. but i admit organization is crappy. gahhhh. i hope esplanade is happy anyway. over over over over over... ... -jumps up and down--skips in circles--la la la la la-k next. quiz tml!! -.- and and and, oh mann, meeting joan and mag tml!! like finally pls!! ya, i feel as excited as tinklebell, bouncing off every corner of the room!!! AHHHHHHHH!!! EYE MEES YEW!!! den baking with nise on saturday for bake sale on sunday. yes, pls come buy from us to raise funds for mission trip (: we're aiming for $30,000 tho i think that's quite mad. yay! ard $15,000 more to go. hurhur.so anyways, whats been going on recently is all this talk on who's running. [so fast??] yea. dunno what happened to this yr's batch, its quite scary actually. so once again, i gotta think of what i want. what i want to sacrifice that is. like ger said, its not fair to the people ard me. sighs. think i shld decide after otc leh. we'll see...ya ya, saint nicholas coming soon lah. bwahah. its a pun!! i said a pun!! lol.
8:31 pm
Sunday, 18 November 2007
today's like the first sunday ever where i slpt in and didnt go for morning mass. hurhur. had the whole morning and afternoon to study. den went for sunset mass with my parents. met jacintha and farah at j8. i was the 3rd SU person they met! bwahah. they met tomu and leb-leb at suntec apparently. lol.
k, after TPrawks ar, the excitement of everything else pales in comparison. haha. was watching 'the noose' on channel 5. go watch pls!! its freaking crappy and highly entertaining. lol. gurmit says as he closes the show 'and remember, if you see a black cat crossing your path, it signifies that, the cat is going somewhere' rofl. like wth arh. hahaha. just imagine, the whole show was like that. its like some news programme with fake reporters and fake incidents, but they did it so professionally, its rather funny. haha. they had old grannys going to arcades, bullying students and alot of other shit lah. catch it next week.
yay!! my sis gonna put up xmas tree this week. all our ornaments are fading and she wanted to buy cheapo ones from daiso. so i asked my sis to put red apples and white wafers. yep, did you know that these were initially hung on the real xmas trees? father ho told us last yr about how xmas trees came about. the fir tree is an evergreen tree that does not wilt even during winter, the apple [or fruit actually] represents the fall of man cuz adam sinned and ate the apple, and the wafer represents life again cuz jesus died for us so we could have life. and the star was originally there too, it showed the way to bethlehem. bwahaha. you get the idea. its really interesting arh, every part of the tree signifies smtg. the presents came in a bit later, from the story of saint nicholas. see if i have time, i'll put it up in my next post (:
k, gotta go study for some more quizzes. gahhhh.
10:40 pm
Saturday, 17 November 2007
woots. 3 days of TPrawks have just ended. im like damn shacked right now pls. had a great time with greenies!! (: we had some sports school rawkers and we requested for team singapore jerseys. and they gave me these shirts which are ten sizes too big lah! lol. anyways, besides tt, got lotsa slp to catch up with.went to collect passport this morning. gahhhh. after all the slpless nights, i woke up early at 7 to collect my ugly passport. had prog meeting after tt and den to elene's hse. after tt, went to meet loggers!!! oh mann, u wouldnt believe what happened lah. went off from elene's hse to town and my phone freaking died halfway there. was suppose to meet them at wheelock fish&co but they werent there when i reached!! so i had no way to contact them at all. tried to use my laptop to send a msg budden their numbers were in my sim card -.- so i depressingly walked ard borders. and guess what?! they found me along the aisle of the cd section!! yay!! i was so relieved i cried in the middle of borders pls. lol. mann, i miss u guys.so anyway, im watching 'license to wed' right now with my sis. another sweet sweet love story -beams-
10:29 pm
Sunday, 11 November 2007
alright guys. last post damn emo. im fine now (: thankyew yall!
so anyways, today went to do cip. took some kids around haw par villa, all not more than 10 yrs old. they're all so cute lah!! haha. as usual, 3 of us girls were grouped with the [5 minus peng ghee] 4 guys. and our kids consisted of 5 boys, so everything they gao dim. haha. but omg, we still died at amazing race la. im getting old mann. they run, we chase. lol. we didnt win in the end la, but if there was a best group, im damn sure we would have won it. all cause of desmond babey pls. lol. 'the most obedient child in the 10 courts of hell will get an everlasting gobstopper' bribery lah! now, we all know why belle's so obedient for animal lab.
so after a back-breaking day, i went off to slp at 8 just now. and im suppose to be online searching for the stupid email john seah suppose to send at 11! so im actually awake now at 2am for ntg!! gahhhhh.
1:54 am
Tuesday, 6 November 2007
music playing: miss you like crazy by the moffats [on repeat mode]warning: rant ahead! possibly of self-pityim tired. already -.- i dont know how other people do it. just keep going on and on, and it doesnt stop. in fact, it keeps piling. and i cant do everything. cant. when was the last time i used that word? dont bother, that was rhetorical. being naive has a positive result of turning cannots into cans. but im growing up too quickly-retorts. im turning 18!! and the whole world owes me presents!!!! yea, im getting cranky as well-dont highlight if you're gonna laugh-fuck. im going insane. and vulgar; i wont even strike that off. my mum's darn irritating. firstly, she made me come home for dinner when i could have went to watch stardust with loggers. and now, she's on the verge of killing me over not finishing the food, when my dad told me to keep for tml. wth la. i miss loggers so badly, i want to cry. literally. but even if i go meet them, all they'll do is talk abt freaking a'levels. sometimes, i wish i went jc. even if i know i'ld fail everything. and i wanna watch stardust really badly. just for that few hours of getaway time, sunk into a nvm good, but relatively unrealistic movie. need that.
i miss my classmates. since school started, i havent had lunch with sherry. how retarded, considering she's the closest to me in class. i miss liwei and adelyn, and gossips with them. i miss church people, who're living their own lives. i miss liver, whom i had a terrible nightmare abt tt day and is still worried abt him. i miss nise, cuz she doesnt really talk much abt papers. heck, she doesnt even know where she's gg after cj. i miss our endless conversations on threadless tees, and singing songs on her guitar. i miss joan. and all the times i could have talked to her, but now she's so far away. i miss daniel and our dinners. i miss walking home thru kensington park, listening to his amazing ipod. i miss squabbling with him over nonsensical stuff.
i miss my family. i miss coming home early for dinner. now, they dont even wait for me. even if i come home relatively early. i miss going out with my sis. her boyfriend has taken my place. sisterly outings has turned into dates, with me tagging along. i miss mag and teri. girlfriends for life seem so hard to picture now. thank god there's still gen.
i think im gonna be forgotten soon.
8:15 pm
Sunday, 4 November 2007
yes, im well aware its 0030am on a sunday morning. im gradually becoming nocturnal. met up with gen for dinner just now. i miss her already. sigh. talked abt lots of stuff, and she always has so many stories to tell me. haha. one dinner with her is like two condensed amplify sessions. anyways after the stories, we decided to shop ard. we walked into this shop selling glass board games. i saw the tic-tac-toe and said 'eh, lets play' so we removed all the pieces first, den the shop-keeper came up and asked in freaking chinese 'ke yi bang ni ma?' and gen freaking replied nonchalently in english 'oh, we're just looking'. den right in front of her, we started playing tic-tac-toe! ahahahah! as if it wasnt enough ar, when we hurriedly walked out, gen bumped her head against the glass shelf she couldnt see! and she couldnt stop squealing. rofl. so both of us ended up laughing in the middle of the corridor, tearing from lack of oxygen and stomach cramps. lol.retarded gen. lol.anyways, after the refeshing meet-up, returned very quickly back to reality. im going insane. on the brink of insanity. or rather, as gen says, on the brink of sanity. haha.alot is going on in my head right now. and with electrico's hello on repeat mode, wallowing in emo-ness sounds perfect. gahhhh. kanye west says: now that dont kill me, can only make me stronger. budden its in a relatively different and obscene context -.-hello, stupid and rescuecan you send somebody please'cause i cant wait another minuteas my sunlight slips away
12:30 am